And here we are...a quarter of the way through Clara's journey of the twos. And what a trip it is! It's as if this growing child of ours walks around constantly with a little cartoon angel hovering over one shoulder and a pitch-fork-carrying devil on the other. They whisper all sorts of promises in her ear. And she wants to listen to the angel oh-so badly (and usually does), but sometimes that devil makes a good argument.
When the angel speaks, she is well-mannered (please, thank you, excuse me) and loving (lots of hugs and kisses), she submits to baths and meals, and she gets into her car seat with pleasure.
But when that darn devil gets to her, he burrows in deep. Baths begin with thrashing and end with splashing; bed time can be drawn out into multi-hour dramas where Mama and Dada fall asleep before the child does; and meal time ends with various food stuff splattered across the dining room and kitchen.
While we don't want our girl to grow up too fast, we're told that four is an agreeable age.
Potty Breakthrough
Paul was down in Auburn for a few days, and Ga and Papaw came to Raleigh to lend a hand. And after many months of practice, this is the week that Clara's little nether region finally connected to her brain to flash the signal: time for tee-tee!
And it's as if a switch was flipped (a phrase we've referred to often after developmental milestones). Clara has begun using the big girl potty with regularity and the familiarity of a well rehearsed habit. She's wearing big girls underpants much of the day while at home, and we've even wandered out a time or two to test her bladder squeeze-off skills.
For the past two weeks at Mother's Morning Out, she has even approached the teachers and asked them to take her to the potty on multiple occasions.
The big news just as we're going to press with this monthly update...Clara has succeeded not once, not twice, but three times in feeling a poop come on and getting to the potty in time. The warning signs of number two have proven a bit more difficult to identify than tee-tee sensations. And we've had a couple of mishaps that we won't mention on the chance it could ruin your next meal. But last night she was running around nudie-girl and pulled up mid-stride to say "uh-oh, Clara has to go poops." We rushed her to the potty just in time, and she was beaming as she made use of the toilet paper. Then this morning, after an accident just moments before, she climbed on the potty while Kate was in the shower, did her duty, wiped, and asked Mama to pause her bath and celebrate the accomplishments. Shrieks and high-fives were abundant. (She repeated the same feat only two hours later...this is four major ones in fewer than 20 hours! We think she has lost about 10% of her bodyweight.)
We expect many more accidents and perhaps a progressive dance of two steps forward, one step back. But this is progress, and we could hardly be more proud of Clara (and she of herself!).
Sleep Is a Battlefield
Dear Dr. Marc Weissbluth (author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child): Thank you! Seriously. We were at wits end. We would have paid you a small fortune for the advice we received for free by borrowing your book from a friend.
The better informed half of this parental pairing tells us that a brain which comprehends the complexities of holding one's tee-tee until one is on the potty, is a brain that has rewired its neural networks. It is a developmental milestone. And a brain that changes is rarely a brain that promotes a full night's sleep.
And so, we return to the most consistent theme of this account of the NC Dryden's life...Clara's sleep patterns.
It's hard to dispute Kate's theory. Clara's newest sleep trouble has coincided perfectly with her consistent ability to squat over the potty. It's just that it has had a two-year old attitude with it, too.
For months prior to this, we had an excellent night time routine. With some notable exceptions, Clara has participated fully. She was going to bed consistently, staying in her big girl bed with little assistance, and even comforting herself into a slumber when sleep came slowly.
No more. For her 27th month of life, Clara refused to stay put in the bed no matter how tired she was. After the routine, she would bound out within seconds as if it were just another play thing. Some nights, the back and forth was lasting two hours. There were tantrums galore, and the cartoon devil on her shoulder was howling with sadistic pleasure!
That might have been manageable, but even after she went to sleep she was waking as often as every four hours. She would not go back down without one of us lying in her room with her. Not sustainable. If we left her on her own -- even if she had fallen back asleep -- she would jump back out of the room within minutes.
We were contemplating door locks. We fully understood why Go the F"or"k to Sleep is the bestselling book on Amazon among the parents-with-young-child demographic.
And so Kate turned to Dr. Weissbluth's holy tome of child sleeping. Put her down, it says. Do not engage her in dialog. Do not get upset with her. All of these actions are stimulating. Just pick her up and place her right back in the bed. The book listed examples of parents who had to repeat this up to a 150 times the first few nights.
True to example, our first several nights would look like a Keystone Kops routine to any outsider: Dada puts Clara to bed, she immediately runs out to Mama; Mama puts Clara to bed, she quickly runs out to Dada asking for water; Dada puts her down, she runs out to Mama asking for a pillow; Mama puts her down, she runs to Dada asking for another blanket...and it continues for 30 minutes. We give in to small requests, but do not speak. She cries. She tantrums. She goes quiet. When we hear deep breathing through the door, we check. And we find Clara curled up on the floor, snoring with lovies under each arm and stack of blankets on top of her.
Some nights have been better, others have been worse. But she is not waking up throughout the night. She is not sleeping in bed with us. Her tantrums are manageable. And we think we might actually start getting an hour or two for ourselves again between putting Clara to sleep and passing out from exhaustion.
Sleeping Bag
An outcome of the night time sagas, unanticipated, has been Clara's new found preference to sleep on the floor. We have the influence of Emma Quay's book Hello Friends: Good Night, Sleep Tight to thank for that. A quilt serves as the sleeping bag, and while we had early reservations about our only child sleeping on the ground, we got past that once we noticed her sleping through the night.
So when she asks that we not put her in the bed, but in her sleeping bag instead, we are quick to comply.
Barney Reigns Supreme & I Make a Funny
It was summed up this weekend, with little room left for doubt, when Uncle Brent challenged Clara with this: who is your favorite, Barney or Elmo? Without hesitation, she pledged allegiance to Barney. And she held firm despite her uncle's blistering cross examination.
Elmo will always own a little piece of her heart, but Clara is a sucker for all of Barney's songs (most of which she has memorized at this point.)
Below, a video of Clara performing two songs she has come to know much better thanks to Barney. Also, she shares her burgeoning sense of humor. Clara has decided it's very funny to replace the lyrics to songs with someone's name...usually her own, but sometimes it's Mama or Dada or Adah or Olive.
Guitar Heroes
When mentioned previously that Clara has developed a slight infatuation with all things guitar. "Teacher Eric," the reader of story time at the library, strums as he reads. Clara recites many of his self-penned songs from memory. Mama even made her a guitar of her own using paper, crayons, and a piece of twine.
We fear she has the makings of a groupie (though all of Dada's powers will be put to use to prevent this) as she made eyes at cousin Jack all weekend as he strummed his guitar. He is, after all, a bona fide rock star with his group Rock Mutt.
Perhaps she can avoid the groupie route altogether. Perhaps she is an aspiring guitar hero herself. The video below shows some of her strumming on Uncle Brent's guitar. Perhaps we start her with something a bit smaller. A ukulele?
Let's Make a "Fork"
From the same characters that got her interested in sleeping bags, Clara learned the art of building forts (though she prefers to call them "forks"). In the picture below, she lounges at the entrance of an early-morning creation, her biggest fork to date.
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