Heat Wave Brings Pool Day

The east coast heat wave has been vicious, and the Dryden house's air conditioner has not been up to the task. With temperatures exceeding 105 and heat index nearing 115, our AC can run full time and only keep the house a little above 80 degrees. So, for shelter, we had to (ironically?) get out of our shelter.

We found relief this Saturday by joining the Ryan Family at North Hills Pool for seven hours.

Vacation Bible School and June Terrors

The full week of Vacation Bible School reached its culmination Friday night. That's when the families descended on Memorial Hall of First Presbyterian Church, chomping down chicken fingers and nutty buddies while waiting for the grand group performance by all our little ones. 

When time came, Clara rushed to the front of the room, taking her place with the other three-year olds, square in the middle of the gathering and eager to sing in her sky blue t-shirt and self-selected pink performance tutu.

But let's digress for a bit...

June has been a long month for a certain three-year old and her cohabitants in the Dryden home. All those behaviors we anticipated at Hattie's birth - the jealousy, the sibling rivalry, the dramatic calls for attention - that we thought we miraculously dodged, have came out with a vengeance. 

Clara's usual ratio of 98 percent delight and two percent tasmanian devil has moved closer to 83:17 (if you count sleeping hours). It's as if the terrible two's re-emerged but inside a more capable tantrum-thrower, one that learned new tricks to counter her parents old tricks at reining in the occasional tyrannical toddler behavior. Once again, we find ourselves at the mercy of a madman willing to take us to the brink and dangle her toes defiantly over the precipice.

An illustration is in order...

Two weeks ago she was at the pool with her father on a Tuesday afternoon, his time for full-parental duty over both Clara and Hattie. It was the first time bringing both girls swimming together, and he had built just enough courage to try to do it alone. (The mistake is obvious in hindsight.) 

On the drive over, Paul informs Clara that, since he had both girls, we would play in the kiddie pool the entire visit. With that declarative statement (indeed, perhaps because of that declarative statement), Clara crossed her arms, wrinkled her nose, and said she would only swim in the big pool.

Uh-oh.

Paul, still believing he could use some combination of logic and power to overwhelm Clara's objection, parked the car and continued on, loading up the excessive swim gear in one arm, and carrying the two girls  with the other.  Clara sensed her advantage.

The moment we paid our fare and entered the facility, Clara insisted again she would not go into the small pool. She crossed her arms once more (a universal sign of defiance, we're learning), audibly harumphed, and stomped her crocked feet on the cement.

Paul attempted persuasion. No luck. Paul attempted abdicating control to a third party power (i.e., it's the rule of the lifeguards, and I wish I could do something to change that, but alas...I can't). No luck. Paul contemplated the power move, his ultimate fall-back in the past. He would scoop his three-year old up in his arms, overpower her thrashing protest, and put her back in the car to take her home.  Nope. That strategy doesn't work with a three-year old, a six-month old, and a camping trip-sized haul of gear. Not without risking a visit from child services anyway.

And so there we were. Stuck. This is not the first or only incident like this in June. It had happened the previous day on a trip to Barnes and Noble. It would happen two more times when friends came over to visit. It would happen at Noodles and Company with Kate. It happened on our trip to the lake with the Bakers. It was a pattern. A very distressing pattern.

We were at a stalemate at the pool. We weren't going in the big pool with Hattie, and Clara wasn't going in the small pool. We went back and forth, Clara crying occasionally and accusing her father of not paying attention to her feelings.  And Paul standing his ground, too.

Most onlookers, parents themselves, provided sympathetic glances but shuffled their own children by quickly, concerned - it would seem - that the behavior might be contagious.

Paul, recognizing that he held no cards in this match of whits, resigned himself to patience.  Not the virtuous kind of patience, mind you. The he-had-no-other-choice kind of patience. We might call it resentful patience.

This lasts 45 minutes. We were rescued by familiar faces coming through...Clara's friend Elisabeth, had a swimming lesson. The compromise was that Clara could watch Elisabeth's lesson. This broke the impasse. Clara kept face...maintained her dignity...did not have to admit defeat. And after several minutes of watching her friend swim, she declared she was now ready to go to the kiddie pool. 

We had a very enjoyable time swimming.

This anecdote, unfortunately, represents a fair account of the month of June with our three-year old.

Okay, back to Vacation Bible School...

We've noted previously Clara's early fascination with Santa Claus. That was her first hero. This Spring she added DC Comics superheroes to the same exalted status as Saint Nick. And with the first day of VBS, Jesus finally earned his due, joining the pantheon of Clara's heroes. 

This exchange with Kate from Monday evening provides some sense for it:

Clara: Why can't I see Jesus?

Kate: Even though we can't see him, he's always with us. He's in your heart. Jesus is like a bright light that's always shining in your heart.

Clara: Well my heart is this big! (She stretches wide her arms.) So I have room in my heart for Jesus, Superman, and Santa. 

Clara: But Jesus' heart is THIS big (arms stretched as widely as they go and then rotates them behind her, pantomiming an enormous sphere). And that's because he loves everyone...even bad guys...even the Joker!

She has come back from VBS each day eager to talk about Jesus and rehearse her songs. The teachers had given us a CD with all the music, letting us listen (again and again and again and...) to the praise-style tunes that comprised the routine. Clara would practice the arm motions over and over again while belted down in her car seat. 

Tuesday afternoon we went to Durham to visit the Goldens. Clara was peppering her Daddy with questions from the morning at church. What does Jesus look like? and How is Jesus like a superhero? Paul punts...let's ask Franklin. He's like a, um, a teacher about Jesus.

For our night time reading we plucked from her shelf a children's book of rhyming Bible stories. She's only interested in the Jesus stories and looks longingly at each illustration of her God and new hero. After we leave her to fall asleep, she flips through the pictures in an attempt to understand what's happening. This does not bring sleep as she rushes downstairs to show Mama the scary picture of Jesus on the cross. She must understand this now! Not the best go-to-bed image for a Jesus lover.

Back to Friday night. The VBS song performance goes brilliantly. Clara was well-rehearsed and confident, and it showed as she went up on stage. She did not wilt in front of the audience and the many camera phones aimed her direction. She only sang louder; she only moved her arms in more pronounced gestures.

She sings the songs all over again on the ride home, face smeared with the chocolate remnants of her nutty-buddy desert. 

We get home and set up for the nighttime routine. When things get tough with three-year olds, let's just use the safe assumption that bedtime becomes the crux of the challenge. June has not been a month of good nights for anyone in the Dryden household. All the tricks that have worked so well over the past few months, just don't seem to hold their old magic any longer. The 10 minute game? Nope. Five stars for staying in your big girl bed? Nope. Operation cooperation? Nope. 

As treats have failed, Paul has resorted to threats, taking away stars, limiting video-watching...you name it. All to little avail.

But after a week of VBS and this new found admiration for Jesus, we're trying something new. After the performance, we want to build on the positive energy. Paul and Clara read several Jesus stories. A rare tranquil mood settles over us. Paul asks Clara if she would like to dream about Jesus tonight. Of course, she replies.

So here's the strategy...Paul tells Clara to imagine this story, reciting it in her head five times as she goes to bed, and she just might dream it.

Clara, you're back at VBS, singing with your friends, watching your teacher Meredith lead the group through the gestures. You're singing the song about flying away, waving your arms in wide arcs, when - all the sudden - you start floating in the air. You're flying! You go up, up, up through ceiling, into the clouds...And guess who you see there? It's Jesus! He smiles at you, says Hi Clara! and reaches out to hold your hand. You go flying through the clouds and heavens together. Then you say you want to go back to see your friends at church. Jesus flies you there, landing with you, and giving all your friends a big hug.

Now, tell yourself that story five times, and you just might dream it.

Clara went with it. She was asleep within five minutes (before 8:30 for the first time in weeks). Our ten hour sleeper stayed in bed 11 1/2 hours that night. She bounded down the stairs the next morning (at 7:40!) to tell Daddy...I dreamed of Jesus last night!

And so June comes to an end. Thank you Jesus! The end note (good sleep last night) has us hopeful for a smoother July with our three-year old.

Hattie Says...Baa-Baa-Baa

Hattie is babbling more and more. Here's a brief preview of one of her preferred sounds. Baa-baa-baa.

Clara's Dr. Seuss Camp

Since mothers morning was ruled out by some strange rule about birthdays, we have discovered that summer childcare for three-year olds is about camps. Lots and lots of camps.

This week Clara has been attending Dr. Seuss Camp at Arts Together, the pre-school she will join three days a week starting in August. While White Memorial has been more like a structured daycare service (and what a great thing that has been for Clara and us!), Arts Together gets the children involved with projects that take time to complete. Rather than working on a fridge-piece each day - and the MMO art was mostly teacher work, with a little Clara scribble for relish - the new school gets the kids working for days and weeks on larger projects. We're convinced it will bring out Clara's hidden artistic genius.

From Dr. Seuss Camp, she gave us a taste of the genius to come with this top hat, a picture of a wocket (for her pocket) and a purple fish from One Fish, Two Fish.

Next week...Vacation Bible School at church.

Hattie 6-Month Check-Up Stats & Sitting Up Alone

We send the blog out to print at the end of every June, making a blog-to-print book as a tangible timeline of the life of the NC Drydens. This year will mark our fourth full year of the blog, so we're developing quite the bookshelf of family memories.

It's customary to stuff the blog with all sorts of entries before the cut-off, so don't be too surprised by the flurry of posts as we head toward end of month.

Hattie had her six month check up today, so we'll gloss over the anguish of all the immunizations (all those shots and that nasty elixir in her mouth!) and just share the growth stats. Our chunk keeps chunking up! She weighed in at 18 lbs 10 oz! For some context, she weighed 15 lbs 11 oz at the four-monther and then 16 lbs 4 oz when we brought her in to treat croup just a week or so after that. The pediatrician has pegged her in the 75 - 90 percentile. She also marked in at 26 3/4 inches long (75th percentile) and 44 1/2 cm around the noggin (90 - 95 percentile). 

(By way of comparison to her older sister - sorry Hattie, this is your fate as second child...always compared - Clara's 6-month check-up had her just over 16 lbs, almost as tall at 26 1/2 inches, and with the same sized head.)

In other Hattie news, we have achieved "sitting up alone" status. Yeah!

This new skill has been a huge boon to Kate and Paul's arm restfulness. She's now both capable of (and eager) sitting on her own bottom while maintaining complete balance. She's eating this way, grabbing at toys on the floor, and spinning around to see what's going on. It seems to have put a damper on her crawling interests - we've not made much progress there. But it has only piqued her standing and walking interest, as she now pulls herself up on our fingers (smiling proudly each time at the accomplishment) and then tries to take little steps forward.

Finally, Hattie is making her first enunciated sounds. "ba-ba-ba" and just this morning "hhhhaaaaa" She'll be talking in no time now. We're trying to remember whether or not we should be excited by this.

Father's Day Chalice

Kate took Clara and Hattie to the pottery shop to make Paul's father's day gift, a coffee cup upgrade to the well-used version provided by Clara for Paul's first father day. The old one has Clara's footprint; the new one has Clara's hand print and Hattie's foot print, plus a lot of Clara artwork both inside and out.

Clara has a bit of her mother in her. Neither has innate talent for keeping surprises. On Thursday morning as Paul made breakfast for Clara, she noticed him making coffee. She said, "Daddy, we got you new coffee!" It took a few seconds of interrogation to figure out what she meant, but it came clear soon enough. In her defense, not only did she think that morning was father's day, but she had also kept the secret for a few days since their pottery shop visit. 

A wonderful father's day gift, a wonderful father's day!

Lake Wateree Weekend

Here's a long entry of pictures and videos...We'll let them speak more than words this time.

This weekend we enjoyed our second visit to Lake Wateree, outside Camden, South Carolina, with the Bakers. Our first trip was last August (here). We added Hattie to the mix this time, giving her an early swimming experience and discovering a few useful things about her, such as...we haven't seen many things put her to sleep faster than a bumpy boat ride (see picture below); and when watching baseball in restaurants, she's clearly a heckler (see video below with your volume turned down).

Clara loved the boat, lounging in the warm lake water, and running around the kitchen with her friend Davis, both pretending to be chickens. 

  

  

Hattie In Jumper

Hattie is a jumping fiend! This jumper keeps her occupied when her parents need a free hand, and she's often content in it for up to 20 minutes at a time. Added benefit...all the jumping is building some lean, mean quad strength while simultaneously wearing her out.

Sisterhood - Competition & Recognition

With Hattie becoming less and less baby-like, the sister relationship is moving into a new phase...Clara viewing Hattie as a competitor. It all started with Hattie taking an interest in toys and so (being that she's the second child and all) we paraded out the old bags of doohickies Clara used to play with back in the day. 

Our mistake, it would seem, came in announcing to Clara that these used to be her toys. She took immediate notice to that statement. And if that's the case, shouldn't she get to decide whether Hattie can use them or not? So Clara started taking a keen interest in anything Hattie was playing with, swiping toys away if she fancied them more than whatever else held her attention at the moment.

To be fair, Clara has held most of this in check, even abiding by our cardinal rule: if you take something from Hattie, you have to give her something else to play with. Hattie is learning to defend herself, too. In those moments when Clara comes too close, eyeballing the toys or just prepping for a smothering hug, Hattie will launch into a pre-emptive holler to alert her parents. Tattling, it would seem, comes naturally.

We have to mention one of the cuter elements of sisterhood, too. Hattie laughs uproariously when playing the game of peek-a-boo, and few things make Clara happier than a giggling Hattie. So they play the game frequently. During a recent match, Clara was hiding under Hattie's exersaucer. Paul asked Hattie, "Where's Clara?" She immediately stood on her toes, and peered over the side of the saucer, repeating the trick several times to prove it wasn't a fluke. 

Hattie did the same thing for Kate when Clara wasn't around. Kate asked, "Where's Clara?" while we were in the living room. Hattie slowly turned herself to the picture over the fireplace, that of Clara kissing infant Hattie in the hospital, and smiled widely for us.

Clara On the Tractor

Clara helps her Daddy mow the lawn, grabbing the steering wheel with a healthy dose of confidence.

Baseball With the Cousins

Brent came through with his boys, Jack and Will, on their annual minor league pilgrimage...that summer ritual of mapping out a week long tour of several teams in several days, collecting souvenir baseballs, and acting as connoisseurs of ballpark hotdogs. 

The latest trip brought them through Raleigh, and Friday night we took a trip to see the Mudcats of Zebulon. 

Clara and Paul joined them for the night game. The highlight for Clara - besides getting to hold hands with Jack and Will and stay up until 10:30...well past her bedtime - was some quality time with the mascots, Big Muddy and Lil' Muddy. When the first opportunity presented itself to meet them, she ran up the steps by our seat to throw herself confidently at Big Muddy. (It wasn't until she met his embrace that it occurred to her...hey, I'm now hugging this large, kind of smelly fish-guy. Evidenced by the fingers in her mouth. Maybe I should make sure Daddy is nearby.)

It was a fun game and a fun visit with some of the Virginia Drydens. No doubt Clara will be talking about it for weeks to come.

Superhero vs. Princess, A Study in Contrasts

Clara with Superman Monopoly

When Paul got home from work the other day, Clara greeted him with this bit of trivia, "Hey Daddy, did you know that I'm not really Batman right now? I'm Bruce Wayne." 

This admission came after, the day before, we struggled to get our daughter to agree to disrobe from her superhero pajamas in order to greet the wider world in more acceptable apparel. She refused. She's Batman. Well, we reasoned, you know that Batman never shows his true identify in public. He has to cover up his superhero costume when he goes out. 

Clara pauses to process this bit of information. 

Upon reflection, she decides that it jives with her thorough understanding of the Batman lore, and she accepts that Batman must maintain his disguise. The solution? Put a dress on over top of her Batman pajamas...That way she can make a quick change if her Batman skills are needed.

Clara's fascination with superheros continues unabated, and we're having fun encouraging it. All the while, she maintains her interest in princesses and ballerinas, still donning her tutus, tierras, and wands when her imagination calls for hit.  Some might see a contradiction in this, some deep conflict between enjoying traditionally boy activities versus those that girls enjoy. Not Clara. In fact sometimes, she plays out the roles simultaneously...Princess Batman or Superman the Ballerina. She blazes her own path, and her parents are proud.

Here Clara is Simultaneously Superhero and Princess

Hattie at Six Months - Inch Worm Crawling & Teeth Coming In

Six months already? Wow! Here are some thoughts, observations, and developments to share about our little Hattie.

Hattie continues being one of the most smiling children we've ever seen. We don't know if it's just her nature, or if we somehow did a brilliant job dishing out reinforcing praise for that first smile in January. Either way, she's quick to seek eye contact and reward your gaze with her widest grin.

She's a solid food fiend. Kate has baked up her first batch of homemade baby food, yummy organic sweet potatoes. When combined with rice cereal and a dollop of milk, Hattie gobbles it up. She seems to take pride in this new skill. But we're now remembering how messy solids can be, both going in and coming out. 

Hattie is working hard on her crawling technique. Right now she's going with the "inch worm" approach. Whenever we put a toy in front of her, she first stretches her arm as far as it goes, her legs thrashing wildly behind her (as if she's in water, and this kickstroke will propel her forward). When that doesn't do the trick, Hattie digs her left knee and foot into the carpet, uses that leverage to prop her mid-section in the air, and then stretches hard again with the opposite arm (like a sidestroke) to get those last few inches. 

She's working hard to get her knees all the way under her body for a more proper technique. She's practicing relentlessly, but she can't yet coordinate the legwork with the hands and elbows. Hattie is probably a few weeks away from being a full-blown crawler, but at this point (for our purposes) she's mobile.

We are reminded of how this worked our first go round with Clara. When the crawling bug sets in, it takes over. Hattie is obsessed with practicing, and it means she's constantly squirming and wriggling. This presents new challenges for caretakers. When holding her in your arms, she can jolt suddenly and with enough force to loosen your grip if you're not holding on tightly enough. On the changing table, she tries to flip over the second you put her on her back. We're re-learning the technique for pinning your child down with one hand whilst attempting to fasten her diaper with the other. 

And, of course, the crawling obsession is working its way through the wiring of her brain. That means it's disrupting sleep. For the past week, this Hattie (who was doing so well working through her nights!) is crying out several times through the night, kicking her legs and rolling over. Oftentimes she doesn't even wake up, she just needs to be soothed back down. But in interest of protecting Clara's sleep (ah, the new wrinkles of rearing two children at the same time...and rooming them next door to each other), we've allowed Hattie back in the bed with us. And we feel very sheepish about this.

Finally, Hattie broke in that first tooth on Wednesday. It's a sharp little sucker, right in the middle of her lower gum. Only 19 more to go...